Energy Series 05: The Cost of Playing Small - And the Power of Expanding Your Field

Every week in this series, we explore energy as the unseen force that shapes how we speak, choose, lead, and create. Not control - but awareness. Not perfection - but expanded possibility.

This week, one theme kept echoing through almost every coaching conversation:

Playing small.

High-achievers whispering instead of declaring.
Brilliant minds shrinking themselves to fit into the box labeled “safe.”
People in transition collapsing into the language of survival instead of stepping into the energy of authorship.

And underneath all of it: fear disguised as practicality.

Why Playing Small Is an Energetic Leak

Most people think playing small is about humility or patience.
But energetically, it’s a contraction, a tightening of the field.

You’ve felt it before:

“I need a job.”
”I’ll take anything.”
“I just want something stable.”

Every one of those sentences is a spell that collapses your identity before you even take the next step.

When your energy shrinks, your opportunities shrink with it.

Playing small is not harmless — it is costly. It stalls your intuition. It dulls your instincts. It lowers your vision to the ground instead of the horizon.

And it’s happening everywhere right now.

A Client Story: When Survival Mode Takes the Mic

Just a few days ago, a long-time high-performing client came to me, exhausted and frustrated.

“I’m just trying to find anything right now,” she said.
“I don’t care what it is. I just need income.”

But her words didn’t match her energy.
Her energy wasn’t saying anything.
Her energy was saying: “I’m scared. I’m tired. I’m forgetting how powerful I actually am.”

So I said to her gently:

“I don’t believe you want anything.
I believe you want alignment.
You want meaning. You want impact, yet your language is shrinking you - not your capability.”

She paused. Breathed. Something unclenched.

And in that tiny shift, the whole field opened.

Within days, her conversations changed.
Her energy came back online.
She remembered who she was, and the world responded accordingly.

This is what happens when survival mode loses its grip.

The Energetic Difference Language Makes

Try these on:

“I need a job.”
It collapses your power. It signals scarcity.

Now try:

“I’m in a career transition.”
“I’m creating my next chapter.”
“I’m making a meaningful pivot.”

These phrases expand your identity.
They elevate your presence.
They call in opportunities that match your true frequency.

Words are energy in motion.
They either shrink your field or stretch it.

Three Practical Energetic Shifts to Get Out of Playing Small

These are the three tools I’ve been giving clients all week — deceptively simple, deeply transformative.

1. Ask Open-Ended, Expansive Questions

Small energy asks small questions:

“Who will hire me fast?”
“What can I get?”

Shift to expansive questions that lift your internal ceiling:

• What am I truly craving in this next chapter?

• What kind of impact do I want to make?

• If I weren’t afraid, what would I be building right now?

Questions shape identity.
Identity shapes energy.
Energy shapes outcomes.

2. Replace “Need” With “Choose” or “Create”

Language is power.

Replace:
“I need a job.”
“I’ll take anything.”

With:
“I’m choosing an aligned next step.” “I’m creating my career pivot.”
“I’m calling in opportunities that match who I am.”

This simple linguistic upgrade shifts you from desperation to authorship.
From searching to calling in.
From reactive to intentional.

3. Use This Daily Anchor Question: “If I were playing BIG right now, what would I do next?”

This question cuts through fear like nothing else.

It pulls you instantly into your highest energetic frequency — not the story of who you’ve been, but the truth of who you’re becoming.

Ask it every morning.
And then act on one small answer.
Momentum follows courage, not clarity.

Playing Big as a Leadership Practice

Leaders — true leaders, don’t wait for permission to expand.
They create it.

They choose courage over comfort.
Alignment over panic.
Intention over reaction.

Playing big isn’t reckless.
It’s responsible.
Because your leadership is strongest when your energy is spacious enough for vision.

Your Practice for the Week

In your next meaningful conversation — with yourself or someone else — try this:

• Pause before answering.

• Feel into your energy, not your fear.

• Upgrade one word: from need → choose, from should → want, from survive → create.

• Ask one expansive question.

• Notice what shifts.

You may feel the breath deepen.
The mind open.
The horizon widen.

That’s your energy recalibrating.
That’s you stepping out of smallness and back into your true field.